Cocktails, food, shuffleboard and life drawing… it’s all happening on the edge of Tunbridge Wells

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ST JOHN’S…

As you snake up the hill past Lower Common Park, heading out of Tunbridge Wells on the London Road, things flatten out into an area shared by its prominently placed church, St John’s.

Not as far as Southborough but not quite within the Wells, St John’s has snuck on to the west Kent social radar as a location for a good time.

We aren’t ones to just be told a place is decent for a giggle, we need to go and see it for ourselves… and we did.

RELAX

Even Flow (@evenflowuk) should be your first point of call. A family business started just before lockdown, it’s all sorts of things rolled into one seriously friendly venue.

There’s a cafe serving international and local specialty coffees and teas, mixed with a new- and old-vinyl record store.

It’s inviting to take a load off and sit in the comfy sofas or perhaps gaze outside from the window seats while tucking into bakery bits, sandwiches and snacks all made fresh out in the kitchen.

Or, if you’re kicking off your fun-time with an afternoon drink (who doesn’t?), they’ve got local beers and ciders to enjoy over a puzzle. If you happen to be around on a Thursday evening, they open late for live music, life-drawing sessions and open-mic entertainment.
PS: check out the local artwork on the walls, too.

EAT

Over the road there are two separate venues, each with its own unique style, but they are jointly owned. Firstly, there is the aptly-named Saint John’s Yard (@saintjohnsyard). Burger slingers extraordinaire, the restaurant team specialise in stacked creations and filthy sides.

The quirky bar and restaurant has conversation starters round every corner - a US Navy diving helmet on the bar, hippo busts on the walls and a picture of 90s Irish pop group B*Witched in a cage, to name but a few. What isn’t odd is the food. It’s pretty much dynamite.

We started with the Bang Bang Clucking Balls - a heap of beautifully tender chicken-breast pieces in crispy batter and covered in the house Bang Bang sauce, chives, spring onions, chilli flakes and sesame seeds.

Feeling adventurous, there’s The Phil Rosenthal (named after the international foodie and all-round happy bloke), which comprised a double beef patty - juicy - with American cheese, house pastrami bacon, grilled white onions, sriracha mayo, lettuce and chipotle BBQ glaze, topped with Rib ‘n’ Saucy Nik Naks. Yeah, I know, but it works incredibly well.

And the flavour combos begin there - see The Hong Kong Sally for a chicken burger with Hoisin BBQ sauce or The Northern Idiot for a cheeseburger with posh gravy. Naughty naughty.

PLAY

The Saint John’s Yard counterpart is The Shufflehouse (@theshufflehouse). Downstairs the flaming pizza oven takes centre stage among the stripped-back tables and exposed brickwork, with a menu that offers, well, thin and crispy Neapolitan-style pizza, obviously, but also a really nice selection of Latin tapas - from duck tostada to pork-belly chicharrones. But it’s upstairs where the real fun starts. Not only is there some amazing, eye-catching artwork, some fantastic neons and a very large fish tank, there are two 14-foot shuffleboard tables.

This is an Olde English game where you slide metal disks down a gleaming, slippery table with the aim of landing them in the end zone without falling off.

Supposedly, it was so addictive that Henry VIII banned it for distracting his troops from archery practice - git! Anyway, quaff some really alternative beers and some cracking cocktails over a game - which is free to play and can be booked in one-hour slots.

At the back of The Shufflehouse is one half of escape-room specialist Clue Cracker (@cluecracker) - the other half is a few doors down - where guests can choose from three experiences: Jail Break, Diamond Dogs or Temple Quest. It’s also been rumoured that the team behind the venue could be about to open a mini-golf-style experience in the old Pizza Hut building across the road. Watch this space.

NIGHT CAP

Once the game is up, and it’s time again for a little sit-down, you can’t go wrong with the Tiger Tavern (@thetigertavern) on side road Culverden Down.

As well as numerous tiger ornaments and artworks, the pub has a Havana/Latin style to it with its airy feel and decor – the team can be found dishing out tacos and Margaritas of a weekend. There’s definitely a sense of fun, with regular quizzes, Disco Bingo (whatever that is) and the decks coming out for a boogie.

EXTRA EXTRA!

There is the naughty-looking Cheese Shop (@thecheeseshoptw) selling some amazing varieties, like the Kentish Smoked Winterdale Shaw from Sevenoaks and the Burwash Rose from East Sussex.

Opposite them is Manuel’s Market & Bakery (@manuelsmarketandbakery), a little breakfast/brunch stop that doubles as a mini deli that sells some cracking little pots and jars of lovely stuff to munch - it’s worth sticking your head in.