Kent comedian wins 'Funniest Joke' award at 2024 Edinburgh Fringe festival
Mark Simmons takes the coveted title
Kent comedian Mark Simmons has won U&Dave’s ‘Funniest Joke’ award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2024.
A vote by 2,000 people found this joke by east Kent resident Simmons the funniest during the August event: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it."
The award comes 10 years on from his first appearance at the Fringe and Simmons has said he is "really chuffed" with the win.
(Read our exclusive interview with Mark Simmons here)
Comedy critics and comedians are on the judging panel for the Funniest Joke award, which is designed to celebrates "the art of joke writing", as well as making people laugh, obviously.
THE TOP 15 JOKES OF 2024 EDINBURGH FRINGE
I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. – Mark Simmons
I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back. – Alec Snook
Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful. – Alex Kitson
I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. – Arthur Smith
I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons
My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it. – Masai Graham
My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoë Coombs Marr
The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati. – Olaf Falafel
I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’. – Sarah Keyworth
I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply. – Lou Wall
Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people – Olga Koch
